There are times in your life when you realize that what you thought was a problem actually stemmed from something much deeper. You see on the surface whatever we can readily identify is sometimes misdiagnosed because we fail to see that the surface stuff is typically systematic of a problem created by something deeper and sometimes much darker.
I had an incident that unfolded a few weeks back that totally took me back to a place that I didn't even know had affected me for so many years. Throughout my life, I have never liked the sound of a door slammed or closed really hard. Didn't know why, just thought that it was possibly one of those pet peeves that I had. I really don't know why after this particular day, my husband closed our bathroom door as he realized I was in there and immediately this panick went through me. I couldn't figure out why whenever I'm in a closed space that I would close the door lightly never really hearing that click that happens when you close the door completely. Sounds kinda crazy but I tell you on this particular day when I heard the door shut, I jumped and I yelled to my husband to ask why did he close the door. To the average person, what he did is pretty normal when you hear someone in the bathroom and you pass by thinking the door hasn't been closed completely.
As soon as I yelled to my husband, memories of me being a little girl and my "play" cousins as a part of us having fun was to push me in the closet and closed the door and hold it. Well, to kids that were a little older than I, it didn't even occur to them I'm quite sure that a fear had been created in me. First of all, it was dark in the closet and as a little kid I was scared. I felt like I was back in that closet and fear gripped me on this day. My husband felt so bad after I explained to him something that he couldn't have known because I too had buried this thing somewhere deep inside.
What I had not dealt with was beneath the surface and oftentimes so many people have things that they believe may be the problem but it is really just the symptom of something else. I would like to encourage and challenge those of you who may have certain ideas or fears that you can't readily explain to dig deep. Get beneath the surface and you just might find the cause of what has robbed you of a sense of peace and tranquility in your everyday life.
After discovering that beneath the surface, it all kinds of hidden things that have been buried deep within I am feeling pretty free that I am no longer held hostage by something that was created long ago that had undoubtedly affected my life somehow and I didn't even know it.
If you have a fear, or sense of unrest I would challenge you to not just brush it off. Digging beneath the surface could actually free you from something that more than likely is small but because it was never dealt with, it became larger than life.
You don't have to succomb to the wounds of your past, you can face whatever it is and start afresh. Freedom feels good and since I am free I am going to stay free. Now I'm wondering, what other areas in my life have I not dealt with????
Beneath the surface, I go.....